The Sound of Labor

 Wednesday night, September 28, 2011.

We were laying in bed talking around 9:45 that evening. I rolled over on my back and noticed how far the baby was sticking out. Smiling, we said something about the position he must be in, then I started to turn over onto my side…
I heard a little “Pop”, but before it could even register as a sound in my ears, I felt warm fluid pouring out all underneath me.
“Ohhh, my water just broke!” I told Jason.
He quickly got up. “Are you sure?” He asked, “What do we do?”
“I don’t know… Get me the phone and I’ll call the doctor.”
My water had never broke so calmly before. Whenever my water breaks I am usually in the midst of hard labor, and one of the children actually pushed the water bag partway out while still intact! So I lay there, dreading the hard contractions that I was sure were on their way. But they didn’t come, and I called my doctor’s office.
Now my doctor is still in Alaska at this point, so they told me to call labor and delivery at the hospital. 
“Is this your first baby?” they ask.
“No, my 6th.”
“How long are your labors usually?”
“Between 1-3 hours, and I’m only 32 weeks right now.”
“Oh. Well I suggest you go into your hospital there to see if you are stable enough to make the trip over here first…”
So a quick check-in at our local hospital showed that I was only dilated 1cm, and that I was fine for transport. But- they would have to send me by ambulance since I was already there…
Jason followed behind in our suburban and was right there beside me when they pulled me into the hospital. They put me in the “triage” room, and I’m not sure what that means, but the room was tiny, had a lot of machines, and was right next to the nurses station for monitoring.
They loaded me up with an IV filled with magnesium (to depress my body and ward off contractions, and also to help the baby’s brain since he was so early), gave me a steroid shot to help baby’s lungs, fluids (just cause I guess we need them {they weren’t letting me eat}), and also an oral medication to stop any impending contractions. And they told me I was not allowed to get out of bed. 
I didn’t sleep much at all that night- maybe two hours. They checked my cervix the next morning (Thursday) and I was dilated 2cm. But I was not having contractions, and the risk of infection was so great because of the membranes being ruptured, so they said they would not check any more, unless I was having contractions or felt pressure. 
But even on the meds, I would have a sporadic contraction here and there- nothing painful or regular…
Thursday night they gave me a sleeping pill and I was able to sleep even through pokes and prods from 9pm-3am. But I woke up feeling so stressed from all the things attached to me that I knew I wouldn’t take another one.
Friday they put us in a labor and delivery room. I was still not in labor, but didn’t need the constant monitoring that the triage room provided. The l&d room was so much nicer- more spacious for all our family to fit, and a nice, comfy, bed for Daddy to sleep in.



During the day, I noticed some contractions here and there, even though I was still taking the pills to stop them. But they still weren’t painful, I would just sometimes need to take a breath through them; and they still weren’t regular. The monitor would never even pick them up- not giving me credit! But we started noticing baby’s heart rate would drop slightly during the contractions. They started noticing the “dip” and that’s how they would read the contractions. I began to worry if he would not tolerate labor well…
Friday night was another non-sleeper. Everything is always more frightening at night, especially if you’re already tired. I started having a few more contractions, and I worried because I knew the monitors weren’t picking them up, and I couldn’t see the screen to see how low baby’s heart rate was. Finally a nurse came in and gave me some Tylenol. 

That seemed to work great to calm me down- my whole body relaxed, the contractions stopped, and I slept deeply for almost three hours…
Saturday morning was pretty much uneventful. They started letting me eat, so that was nice.J They gave me my last dose of “contraction stopper” and told me that they would induce labor on October 10th. I would be a little over 34 weeks by then, and they don’t want me to go past 34 weeks because of the risk of infection, but since I would actually turn 34 weeks on the next Saturday, they would wait until Monday because they are “short staffed” on Saturday.

But today was Saturday too…


They brought my supper in and I sat up to eat. It was almost 6:30.

I was usually having a few contractions whenever I would sit up to eat, and I did again this time; but they were so mild that they didn’t bother me at all. Then they would go away when I lay back down. These were just slightly uncomfortable, but the food wasn’t that great that night, so I finished and lay back to visit with everyone. All our children and my mom were there too. Sometimes I would stop and take a few deep breaths during contractions, but they were so short… Any other time I was in labor, I couldn’t stand to have anyone talk or move around me, but during this time, the children were laughing and the room was full- it didn’t bother me. So I figured these few, irregular contractions would stop soon just like all the other times.

 They left around 7:30. As they walked out the door, a few of them stopped and watched me. I was having another one, this one a bit harder, but not too bad…

A little while later I felt a slight pressure in my lower tummy…
“Honey,” I said to Jason, “I think we should tell the nurse I feel a little pressure. It’s just a little, but I want to be extra cautious.”
I actually felt silly calling the nurse in to tell her what I was feeling. I obviously was not in very much pain, but I knew that monitor still wasn’t picking up my contractions, and I knew his heart rate was still dropping in the middle of them…
She came in then, and watched me for a few minutes. She stood there for about 5 minutes and noticed I had three of them. So she called in the doctor. The doctor decided it was time to check my cervix again…
“Oh… Yes, she’s dilated,” the doctor said quickly.
“When do you usually move people to the delivery room?” I asked.
“No, you’re not going; You’re going to deliver right here,” she said, and quickly started scrambling around.
“Oh? Well how far along am I?” I asked.
“You’re complete.”
I heard her then yell out the door, “I need a STORK team here NOW!” (That’s the emergency NICU people.) Then more people came, more scrambling, more demands for necessary equipment.
But I don’t remember all of that- I remember she turned and looked at the monitor for the baby’s heart rate and said, “OK I need you to push him out right NOW. Don’t wait for another contraction. Just push him out.”
I pushed, and felt him coming…
There were so many people around. I couldn’t see my husband, but he was there.
I pushed again, and his head was out…
They grabbed my legs and told me to keep pushing.
One more time, and he was out…
So much scrambling. I couldn’t hear him crying…
“Breathe baby! Mama wants you to breathe!” I started crying, “Oh God, help him breathe; please help him breathe…” 
They quickly cut the cord and whisked him away. They had none of the equipment they needed in that L&D room. All I saw was a tiny red form on the sheet; I never saw him…
They showed Jason where to go to watch them with the baby. He heard him cry- loudly. It was no weak cry! They had to use the bag to help him continue to breathe though, and they needed a tube. They kept trying, but the tube was too big. Finally they knew they had to take him straight to the NICU. 
Feeling helpless, Jason came back to see me and told me what they were doing…
“Oh honey,” I told him, “I didn’t get to see him…”
“I saw him honey,” he said, “He was a little gray at first, but when they got him breathing he got his color back. He’s so cute honey…”

A NICU nurse came in after a minute and held my hand, “We got a cry and a heartbeat and they’re taking him to the NICU now to try to get the breathing tube in.”
“Thank you,” I told her.

The doctor was working on my placenta and she looked up at me and said, “I’m very sorry you didn’t get to see him. I’m sorry…”
After a short dose of pitocin, and some cleaning up, they told me I could see him if he was stable enough. So one hour after birth, they wheeled me over to the NICU, and I saw my baby…

He was so precious, so beautiful, and so tiny…
He had so many wires and tubes attached to him, but when I looked carefully, I noticed that most of them were just monitors- not needles. He had an IV in his hand- just like mama.J And they were going to put in the lines in his belly button. But the one thing that I knew must be uncomfortable was the breathing tube in his mouth…
The doctor spoke to us and told us that they would leave him on the ventilator over night, and hopefully be able to remove it tomorrow. She mentioned something about the different anomalies he had. Yes, we were aware of them…
“Oh but is his palate cleft?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said, “It’s all completely open in there.”
-A nurse later told me it was probably the worse cleft she had ever seen… God?


We talked to him and touched him for quite a while. He was just so sweet…
Every ounce of my heart wished I could pick him up and hold him close and never let go. This was so unnatural. But this was the way of life for now…
Daddy leaned over his face and he opened both his eyes and looked right at him! 
-Thank you for that, God…
We slept for the first time without our baby that night…

Hazaiah Jude

October 1st, 2011

8:30 pm

3 pounds 3 ounces

16 ½ inches long